I have been a military spouse for 20 years. I remember the early days of marriage when my husband would have 24 hour duty and I would do extreme things like make a new couch cover, or paint cows & sunflowers on anything I could get my hands on. It was 1994 – cows and sunflowers in the kitchen were all the rage. Hard to believe, but true. As the years went by I learned to love the time that he was gone. Not that I didn’t love him, and not that I am not still head over heels in love with him now… but I have said a million times that God knew what he was doing when he made me a military spouse. During our separations I have done everything from building a successful direct sales business, painting my entire kitchen, tackling any number of household projects, to building blogs and websites. It just who I am and what I do. The days get longer, the TV isn’t on, there is no “Honey, please…”
Not that I don’t love serving my husband. I do. 50 weeks a year, 40 weekends a year. The other time is MY time. My time to let the kids eat Reece Puffs for dinner or take them on special dates. My son Adam and I look forward to calzone night every month. The kids and I go into slllloooooowwwwww motion. The thing about being married to a military man is he has an agenda, a plan, and an SOP for everything. Being a military wife I do too. When he is here we run by his regs, willingly and lovingly. When he isn’t… Mom’s rules prevail. Of course there is always a panic about an hour before he gets home. Get the clothes off the bathroom floor, do the dishes, check the mail… you know, all of those things that he reminds us of or does himself for us. I don’t want him to think I just sat at my computer the WHOLE time he was gone. I did sleep, for about 45 hours at nap time.
For 20 years I have been counting the days until he leaves and then immediately started counting the days until he came home. The first 48 hours are a celebration of independence… middle of the bed, I don’t have to shave my legs… all the perks. About hour 49, I get this twinge of ‘this is fun and all, but I miss my bff’. The talk of retirement comes up and I remember when my Dad gave up golf… and my stepmom lost those five hours every Saturday to herself and I cringe… this is MY time… and then there are those cool things like Tricare that our family needs. But I am not ready for him to retire.
I have been an active duty wife… 2 branches… a National Guard wife, and a Reservist wife. Same husband… our lives are definitely one of adventure. But some of my greatest memories were created in that year, weeks, or weekends that he was serving our country. Our love is stronger because of it. Because I was allowed the time to drink coffee and write at 0112. You learn to embrace the suck and actually begin to enjoy it. I have 18 hours left… guess I better go enjoy them.
Love ALWAYS Wins!
